this isn't who i am.....

I can't handle any of this anymore. Am I really blogging at a bar right now? Oh yea, yea I am... I have had luck with girls in my life, but I am not down with picking up girls at bars...I find it beat street....can't I hang out with friends and not have to worry about playing wingman or some bullshit. The past 5 days I have been called a faggot 4 times...now I think about this... It shoudnt bother me right? Well sadly it does. I realize I am better then these people but still..What happened where people are just calling random people a faggot because they look different...and then i think..what is it like for an actualy homosexual to go to a bar that I have been called a faggot at...It must be horrible and that makes me so sad. Do these sme people see a black person and say nigger... I hope they dont...the horrendousness of people make me sad...I can't deal with this. This isn't my life, I don't want to be in a world like this. It's not about being politically correct either..it is about have some form of respect for your fellow man..I don't hurt myself cause I am miserable.. I hurt myself cause this world is horrible...Iwould like to rsvp out of this life..let me wake up in the morning to a wife and kids.....

ps...sorry about the spelling and punctuation i can' type on a phone