bye blogspot.

later gator.

http://nickjoyceruinedmylife.tumblr.com/

I'm tired, so very tired.
I just want to close my eyes...

home made care bears pillow case, = too badass.

You know those bands that have this huge mass appeal and everyone loves them, but you can't stand them at all.

Mine are:

The Smashing Pumpkins
Metallica

I'm sorry but those bands are horrendous.

fun. - Aim and Ignite

great album, it is the singer of the format...

oh and you can download it here ;)
http://www.mediafire.com/?bnuocm55y4t

I haven't seen this man in a little over a year, it is pretty sad. He moved to North Carolina and when I've been there he hasn't been able to make it to a show. We had some great times.
This one time....
...we made these smirnoff powerade drinks and got really drunk and fell asleep in the car outside in front of our apartment.
...he cooked maple flavored bacon and the whole place smelled for 2 weeks
...we got really drunk and started throwing mustard, sweet and sour sauce, ketchup, and everything else condiment wise at the walls, he was just upset because he didn't realize we had mustard until it was thrown
...the next morning after said mustard was thrown we were still drunk and tried to make cinnamon rolls but burned them and passed out in a closet while talking like old tyme people
...he passed out drunk on the toilet (completely naked), much to Jeff Vier, Mark, Jenn, and myself's dismay
...we went to Pub 17 and we got really drunk, I dropped a full beer on the dance floor and got cut off at a bro bar. On the way home he was throwing up so Theresa pulled over, cop pulled behind up behind us, 5 of the 8 people crammed in the car ran away. And he told the cops we were at Bar 17 in between throw ups
...we took a class together and I showed up for half the classes but still got the same grade as him
...we threw the Baron's Birthday Bash, filled a pinata up with condoms, starburst, marshmellows, and a can of tuna fish.
....for his birthday I got him a 50 and over porn magazine
...he got hit on by TJ
...Jeff Croissant, myself, and Geoff played heroes all day and drank all day
...he convinced me I was so wasted that I asked a very foul girl out, after I cried he said he was joking
...we drank steel reserves and just had a blast.

I need to go on a trip to North Carolina to visit him and his girlfriend soon.
The memories are so good.
Geoff aka The Baron = good.

I want to go to:
The museum
Veggie Heaven
Mini Golf
Hoboken
NYC
The Zoo...

come with?

"I and I"

A couple of days ago, I realized I lost control of my life. I went to Clifton with Tom to see the always amazing Joshua Starry. We had some shots and beer and went to the liquor store and got more drinks and arrived back and drank on his roof. Clifton has a lot of good memories for me and a lot of bad ones. I spent a good 5 days a week there for a year and a half making shitty music and hanging with band members who would slowly disappear. Sitting on the roof I looked at Tom and Josh and realized in a month it would be difficult for this to happen again. Tom is going to Seattle at the end of August and Josh is moving to Florida/Chicago in about two weeks. This gets me a little choked up and then I think of other people who were some of my close friends who disappeared and now I never see again. Change is the only constant and change is good but this is bad. Sitting on the roof being drunk, I saw the ground below me and it was beautiful. It looked like the perfect fall and the perfect way to go. Needless to say I got out of my head and the night eventually ended. The whole next day I kept thinking about this and what to do. At 3pm, I went to a Stevie B's house and for some reason we decided to drink. We drank a good amount of beers, he drove around walking dogs for 2 hours while we are drinking sailor jerry, we got back to his house and drank more. It comes to 8pm and a whole 30 is gone. I am now a complete and utter mess and can't handle anything, the more I kept thinking the more I knew it was time to die. We drive from Boundbrook to Gillette to go to Bartons, where we are there until 2am. Alot of it is a blur, but I know I was trying to score drugs, and convinced this was the night...

I just finished reading a book on spirits, aura, and inside well being. I came to a realization...

I've been attaching bad spirits on me, by having a self destructive personality. The more bad spirits that are attaching to me the worse things go. In order to get better you have to do visualization techniques and meditation, I know it sounds crazy but it really isn't. Maybe it's all fake and you are just believing in this so you can convince your mind that now you are better and then you act it, maybe it is real, i don't know.
All I know is having these past couple of days of leaving my body to see my spirit has allowed me to learn.
Everything I want is attainable, if I just throw myself out there it can happen, and it will happen if my soul is developed enough for it.

I know this makes me sound like a suicidal fuck who now is just plain crazy, but that's not it anymore. My mind is now calm. If I only see how bad this world is, that's all I am going to know...there is beauty all around me I just have to surround myself with good aura...

20 minutes of meditation in the morning, think in your head that there is this white wall in front of you where badness can't get through. It might help.

My full plan of attack starts on Monday, since the past few days have been about detoxing of the soul.
I'm ready.

If you haven't seen me in the past two weeks, you might want to. Lets experience beauty together.

"I and I, we're taking control of our lives
I and I, we're taking control of our lives
I and I, we're taking control of our lives
Everything's alright"

"I'm searching for an angel
shot down with broken wings
I see another harlot
muttering those deadly things
a girl for each wrist
and its always my mistake
this night i swear to god
you wont forget my name"

the first couple of lines to a song i am writing.

LISTEN

Please listen to the Zac Brown Band, they are fantastic.

I recommend:
Where the Boat Leaves From
&
Chicken Fried

I feel like I've been treading water for the past couple of months, dare I say year. I've experienced and seen a good amount of things in my 23 years of living. But it's time for change, time to make something new. I was in Nashville for about 5 days and it was one of the most invigorating times of my life, granted I was super drunk the whole time but that didn't matter. It was a place with good people, good people who were enjoying life, good people who were enjoying listening/playing music. It felt good, I felt like things made sense. I am back now in a state I love and it doesn't make sense. I can't find bands to tour with anymore, frankly I am tired of promoting/helping other people's bands, it's a cocktease. And when the end of the day comes, you are forgotten about, you're a payroll, just another name, just another person doing something another person could do. There is nothing that makes you a person. Sure I made some good friends and it's been enjoyable but it's time to do something that's mine.
Within the past year a couple of my best friends have moved away from New Jersey, I don't see them anymore, it makes me more sad then anything else. A few more are also moving away in the upcoming months, again it can bring me to the verge of tears. I can't control it though, people move, friends go away, some remain, some don't. I can't handle it though.

I don't know what to do about anything, it's not a good feeling.
I don't know where I'm headed, I'm numb.
I'm 23 and all I have are stories, as interesting as they may be, they don't mean shit. This isn't about money either, it's about having happiness, and I don't know what will allow me to have it.

I have some dreams sometime of me killing myself/dying/or dead(as weird as that sounds). I like these dreams, sometimes it feels that death is the greatest adventure to take.

I'm going to look at jobs in Nashville, if I can't find a good one there. I'll go on another adventure.

Nashville, TN

Nashville, TN is one of the most amazing places I have ever been to. I was never a big fan of country music but I am enjoying it alot. Any bar you walk into there is live music playing, they don't charge a cover for the bars either, the artists work on tips. They are playing music because they enjoy it. The other night we were at this bar called Tootsies and there was a big country singer there drinking, his name is Tracy Byrd. He got up and played a couple songs and then continued drinking. It was great.
We are staying at Billy's uncles house, his name is Diamond Jim. He used to be the premier bartender in Nashville but since has retired. He wears polos that match his sunglasses, aka when he wears an orange polo he wears orange sunglasses, blue polo blue sunglasses etc. He is classic, anything you say he just responds "I don't give a fuck" Everyone paid for me to get him tattooed on my leg, and I did and it is badass.

this isn't who i am.....

I can't handle any of this anymore. Am I really blogging at a bar right now? Oh yea, yea I am... I have had luck with girls in my life, but I am not down with picking up girls at bars...I find it beat street....can't I hang out with friends and not have to worry about playing wingman or some bullshit. The past 5 days I have been called a faggot 4 times...now I think about this... It shoudnt bother me right? Well sadly it does. I realize I am better then these people but still..What happened where people are just calling random people a faggot because they look different...and then i think..what is it like for an actualy homosexual to go to a bar that I have been called a faggot at...It must be horrible and that makes me so sad. Do these sme people see a black person and say nigger... I hope they dont...the horrendousness of people make me sad...I can't deal with this. This isn't my life, I don't want to be in a world like this. It's not about being politically correct either..it is about have some form of respect for your fellow man..I don't hurt myself cause I am miserable.. I hurt myself cause this world is horrible...Iwould like to rsvp out of this life..let me wake up in the morning to a wife and kids.....

ps...sorry about the spelling and punctuation i can' type on a phone

i'm sinking like a stone in the sea.

Read: Drunkard by Neil Steinberg

Walk: Through Asbury Park.

Listen: Brand New - Deja Entendu

Don't: be suprised with what I do.

What are the lives that we choose to lead? I can't sleep right now, it's not because I'm not tired cause Lord knows I could use a solid night. Illegal feel good things are keeping me up. My heart is beating hard, it scares me but the feeling that these things give me make it all worthwhile.

I'm on a road, I don't know where it's going at all. I might have missed my exit a long time ago but I'm staying on it hoping I see the right sign. I can't keep up with this routine anymore, but I can't get away from it. I'm trapped give me the u turn.

I know what I need, I can't get it, it's unreachable.

Just give me something, anything please.

For the past 3 days I've had pizza when I woke up in the morning and that is pretty fucking badass.


The Steve Wilkos show is the most horrendous thing on television, please don't watch it.

"The Souls have taught me how to love the music,
sadly to a generation that's confusing."

12

1. Sailor Jerry's is an amazing alcohol. It is delicious and badass.

2. I made pizza this morning on an English Muffin, I did not realize I spilled a whole mess of grated cheese in the stove burner. Needless to say when my "roommate" used the stove at a later time, it was a melted disaster.

3. Tom and I finally accomplished our Brunch Date in NYC, 13.95 for breakfast and unlimited mimosa's until 4pm = badass. We only drank until 2 and 11 Mimosa's later it was a good day.

4. I went to Red Bank the other night and hung out with Brent and Nick B. Both of them are two close homey's and it is always good times (even though Brent likes Phil Collins)

5. I drink way to much coffee and red bull throughout the day.

6. I bought Season 2 of Carnivale on DVD and it is fantastic. The show is only two seasons long but it is a brilliant show. I wish I had watched it when it was on television.

7. I bought some books at the bookstore today and am pretty stoked to read them.

8. The Dear Hunter - Act III Life and Death is an amazing album

9. I saw the Hangover and it was hilarious, like everyone has been saying.

10. I bought an amazing John Lennon poster (pictured below), but I don't have any room on my walls haha, it might be time for my Shaq poster to come down or maybe the yankees one. =(


11. Cherry italian ice is badass.

12. Don't let your talent go to waste.

FYI

This has been a long time coming, every time I come to the conclusion of what I have to do I sell out and do what I don't want to do. This means.. I keep deciding that I need to not hang out with a lot of people, but then I'm like yea dude I'll go drink or blah blah. It's nothing personal to these people, but we are not on the same page anymore, I've grown apart and don't want to be back in your scene. It was fun times but we are no longer friends please don't invite me to hang out anymore...


Oh and get this album: The Dear Hunter - Act III Life and Death it's phenomenal

this is me being vague

I have a thing in me where loyalty means everything. When I see that getting destroyed I move on. I have been really bummed recently, trying to figure things out. I have some best friends who allow me to see them everyday, and we stick together. But I feel that one has lost it, and I am not okay with ignoring it anymore. It's time I move on, I don't want to, but I have to. I love them to death but I can't do something where I sacrifice alot to have someone pull stunts. It hurts alot, but it's time. I can't keep watching a friend of mine disappear, I have to go.

it has been a while

What the fuck, I have been wanting to write some things for a while but just have not found the time/internet access. So I am trying to remember all the things I wanted to say about what annoys me and such but I can't remember, oh well.

This one night we were in North Carolina and there was a bar next door to the venue. Josh, Dan, and I walked over to try and have a cheap little beverage. Josh asked if there were any drink specials, the bartender named a price for a pitcher and then said or you can pay $5.00 for a wrist band. When asked what a wristband does she says, "It allows you to drink unlimited Busch Light until last call". Obviously this was any amazing deal which we snatched up. We drank heartily and had alot of fun, the camel light ladies came and gave us free cigs. Upon me leaving the bar I got in the van where Tom and I had a little tiff with Okie. It's on video, I almost murdered him, but hey we had alot of delicious beer.

A couple of nights ago we were in Cleveland, Ohio. I witnessed the most amazing disaster of a family I have ever seen. There was a mom(Cougar), older daughter(Kiki), younger daughter(Angel), and son(Squeeb)...
Cougar is about 45-50 wearing a black spaghetti strapped really tight shirt with her fat hanging out of the sides. She has shitty blonde hair with shitty black highlights. She was atrocious and getting wasted. She gets her daughter, Kiki, to harass every guy there trying to get some. Squeeb during the show is doing some form of a ska/hardcore/seizure dance to every band playing. Cougar is getting wasted at the bar with her 15 yr old, Angel, next to her. During one of the sets Cougar sucks someone's dick in the parking lot, leaving Angel alone sitting there because Kiki is trying to get dick, and Squeeb is dancing. During Amber Pacific's set Kiki and Cougar are "dancing" on the side of the stage. This family was disgusting and I'm sure if I was a loyal Jerry Springer viewer I would have seen them on it.

We were in Pittsburgh last night, I really like it there. I wouldn't be against living there. There was a bar that had DOLLAR well drinks. Like are you serious? Amazing. Give me an apartment there and that girl who had the yellow dress on with a chest piece.

The tour manager for Fight Fair is from New Jersey, he used to go out/hook up with the same girl as I did. She was a crazy, a big crazy, but a gorgeous crazy. It is fun to exchange stories with him and see how crazy she really is. He is a good man, I am a good man, she is a looney.

There was a tattoo artist at the Allentown show, I tried to get my knuckles done but they ran out of time, I will get it done though. My knuckles will read "Gods Gift", it's not the smartest decision in the world, but fuck you, I will never allow myself to have a desk job and will figure out my own way. And if I'm 25 and still haven't figured it out, you're all invited to my funeral. Actually not cause I probably don't want to see you when I'm alive and I sure as fuck don't want you near me after I killed myself...

Josh Starry is playing bass for the band right now, he is the man. End of story.

I've been realizing, a lot of people I talk to when I'm home I really don't need in my life. And for that matter I really don't care to have them in my life, I'm cutting a lot of them out, I'm tired of wasting my time and being surrounded by a hissy circle.

We left last Wednesday to embark on an epic drive to California. The drive was fairly enjoyable actually. Josh, Stardust, Ashley, and I got pretty wasted the second night of the drive and had some epic laughs and made some amazing events. Arriving at Charlie's house in California was nice. Charlie and his roommates are more then hospitable, I got a Johnny Cash action figure out of the stay, and we also were given four boxes of Revolution on Canvas that we can sell for extra money. The book is fantastic, poetry and thoughts from alot of artists in the "scene". The shows have been interesting and of course some of the people have been more then interesting.
The Farewell dudes joined up on the tour today which is great, they are all awesome people and it should be a good little month with them. It's good to see some bands who still have fun and are great people with no egos or hidden agendas.

I bought some sick shorts at a thrift store today, unfortunately they are a little tight so I'm going on a no drinking philosophy for a couple of days (we'll see how long that lasts)..

I'm thinking I want to settle down when I get home...

my bags are packed.

I am leaving today for a month trek with the Houston Calls cats. We are driving out of Berkeley Heights at 7pm and driving straight to California. It is sure to be an interesting drive with sanity being lost, smells being smelled, and 711s being raided. I just purchased good old triple A batteries for trustworthy flip camera so we can have some video documentaries. Hopefully all goes really well and we all have a blast with not to many arguments taking place.

I'm ready to leave and see some new sights and experience some new things.
I purchased a new book for the road and a new pint of Sailor Jerry's (my current favorite alcohol to swig).

So see you around.

twitter.com/NickJoyceBadass

Amazing.

This is one of the most amazing videos I have ever seen. Watch it until the end you won't regret it.

In the past two weeks I've seen almost all of my best friends. It's been pretty satisfying and extremely fun. I always talk to them and see them but it seems the past 14 days there has been an influx of seeing different amazing people every night. I haven't had much sleep at all and for three days in a row wound up getting home at 8-830 in the morning.
Looking at the motley crew of characters, they range from high school history teacher to "entrepreneur", to government worker, to playin a little music, and then there's others in between.
I leave soon for a month journey and am quite excited to see all the new events.

There's a couple things I need to do for myself that only I can take care of, but as of right now things are pretty swell....





(I still really would love to die though)

Nick Joyce's book club.

Did you ever read a really good book and then kind of forget about it? I am somewhat of a reader and the other day I was putting a book away and looked at my bookshelf and rediscovered two amazing books I read a while ago, but kind of forgot about, below I will show you them...
This book is called Let Me Finish and it is by Udo Grashoff

The author of this book has gone around collecting suicide notes from people who left them when they killed themselves. He then researched what was going on in their life and what contributed to them killing themselves. In the book he displays the note for the reader to read and then explains the back history of the person and what was going so bad in their lives. One can argue that is an invasion of privacy since the note was not really left for public knowledge, but it is very interesting and the backstory of what took place is very powerful. The book is a little bit of a downer, but I enjoyed it alot..

Now on the other side of the spectrum....

This book is called Life is so good and it is by George Dawson.

This book is an autobiography on George Dawson. He wrote the book when he was 101, after he started learning how to read and write at age 98. As if that is not intriguing enough, he talks about growing up as a laborer, during when black people had no rights and were still very prejudiced against. It is a very good story and very powerful. It helps display the power of mind and the triumph of the human spirt. He worked hard all his life and even at 98 he didn't give up and enrolled himself into adult school so he could try and finally learn to read and write. This book is a perfect modern day "Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass"...If you haven't read that I suggest you do, and if you don't know who he is I suggest you look him up. As he is one of the most important African American and American in general, in history.

open a book, start with one of these...no more John Grisham read something real.

I really enjoy looking on facebook and seeing really slick comments from guys on girl's walls. I just read one where the collar popper goes "Yo grl, c u soon, i bring da booze"..... No analyze this sentence, is this guy serious. I understand abbreviating on the internet and maybe dropping of the g in a word so instead of saying "what are you doing today" you would say "what are you doin today" or even "whatchu doin today", fine fine shorten things it's the internet, but don't write a sentence that makes it look like your keyboard is broken or you're the son or rain man. Aside from the lingo that gets dropped I enjoy what is written, it's always some classic line, usually they will drop these words or phrases in the comment, "damn", lookin beautiful", "goin to da club", "and workin out".. Damn grl, you be lookin beautiful, when we goin to da club?

Jesus Christ, what is a little more pathetic then that is that some of the girls are all about this, this just mind boggles me but to each is own.

I sleep on more floors then beds.
I spend all my money on books, alcohol and music related products.
I barely ever sleep and seem to always have a permanent hangover.
My mind lives in two different worlds and causes me to be very self destructive.
I've got ideas but am to scared to go about them.
I can't plan anything to far in advance because I would probably break the plans.
I'm 23 and have been through and seen more stuff then most people.
I hate myself more then anyone could ever imagine...
I wouldn't have my life any other way though.

how the west was won...

I'm not your fucking security blanket, I don't care about your problems.

I want to have as many friends as possible, so I have more choices of who to give my stuff to before I kill myself...


send your requests for my belongings to: daygreen89@hotmail.com

it's called fuck my life.

I'm taking a couple of days hiatus from seeing people at night. Last night I went to East Rutherford and had beer and pizza with Tom, Josh, Ashley, and Jon. So today is my first day of staying in at night. It is weird and I do not enjoy it, but I am not drinking until Friday. Monday to Thursday is a long time of no drinking, especially when I do it everyday.
I do not if i can do it, as I am already losing my mind and don't enjoy watching tv really. But I have some good books, I have a book I am writing, and I am suicidal, so hey I got three things to take care of.

The Format - If Work Permits

I bought my mom the new Kelly Clarkson cd for her birthday, upon her opening it I put it on my iTunes...

I'm still cooler than you.

The other day I had the fine pleasure of dining at a Friendly's. I was in the Rockaway Mall and me and the chum I was with decided we were hungry and we should go there. I have not been to a Friendly's in years so it seemed like an exciting and exotic idea. My dreams of being lavished with service, good food, and a nice sundae were smashed the second I stepped foot in that restaurant. The menu is a generic, all american, pseudo diner menu. It seems that the specialty they have is their supermelt, this is where you can get a crazy sandwich such as a chicken parm supermelt or a turkey club! I, being a vegetarian, could not take part in such a crazy delicacy. I asked our lovely, 300lb, full of acne, server if they happened to have veggie burgers...She replied that they do not carry them anymore but they have turkey burgers, I informed her that I am not a fan of turkey, to which she told me that they do in fact carry salads there. Now wasn't I in luck, that they had salads, I mean it is so rare to find an establishment that sells salads in this day and age. I settled for a grilled cheese. It was fine it tasted the same whoopy. Now the table next to us had a couple and their children, this was a fine all american couple. The husband was wearing a sleeveless Harley Davidson shirt, a Harley Davidson hat, some form of very baggy jeans, I'm guessing they were Bugle Boys, and construction boots. His wife looked basically like him except she had smaller breasts, but I do not want to come off as making fun of her, because she was a fine woman who was able to birth 5 children all under the age of 5. The kids were very well behaved, so well behaved in fact that they didn't want to make a mess at the table so they didn't sit down at all. And they were very exercise conscious because they kept using the Denny's corridors as a triathlon circle. More and more All American, Dallas Cowboys, Budweiser, Walmart, wife beating, fans came in and the place was just popping...
Sitting there I wondered how does this place still exist, why is there a Friendly's. It is horrible, and if this has to exist why doesn't it just set up shop inside Walmart, it would save their consumers the extra gallon of gas in their chevy tahoe.

Remember in the 90s when all those bands started having backwards letters in their names? Like Korn had the backwards R, or Eminem had the backwards E...why was that looked at like it was really cool, and how come now the big thing is spelling band names out with a symbol...For example using @ as an A, or $ as an S. I don't think it looks cool and considering numerous bands are doing the same thing it's not original. At least your shirt will look good on a Hot Topic wall.

Congrats brah, you're s@ving the $cene.

Just because you talk to someone a couple of times it doesn't mean you are friends with them.
News flash you're not liked motherfucker.
Check it.

this is me being real

I sat on a bench the other day, overlooking the NYC skyline. There were all these people there taking pictures and trying to be cute. I was alone, the only company I held was a poland spring bottle with vodka and diet sprite. I sat there for a couple hours, it was difficult because I felt awkward alone and didn't want anyone to see me. I stuck through it and sat and thought about life, I went through everything in my head, possible scenarios of a cause and effect of my actions.

I don't want to live anymore.

These are my favorite bands of all time:
AFI
Alkaline Trio
The Bouncing Souls
Green Day
Bayside

they have in common some ideals and principals that I wish more bands would recognize. None of these bands just wrote songs to be huge or sign to a major label right off the bat. They plugged their ways through hard times and built their way from the ground up. I'm sure at numerous times in their career they almost gave up, after years of playing you just think to yourself how it sucks to struggle for rent and maybe you should just give it up and go somewhere and get a 9-5 job. It's easy to do that, but these bands didn't and they stuck through it and have things to show for it now. Anyone can be the next flash in the z100 top hit club, it takes skill, dedication, and a drive to actually build a career. It doesn't matter how old you are or what you look like to do this. If you have your heart in the right place the pieces fit (eventually).. You start your band and your first 5 fans slowly grow to 10 and then 15 and so on, you can't let set backs fuck you up (labels, van break downs, drama, member loss), believe in it, right your true song, something will happen.

Right something true and that you believe in.
This is your moment, seize it.

It's not about how many facebook or myspace friends you have.
It's not about how many tagged photos there are of you on facebook.
It's not about driving in your jaguar.
It's not about how many picture comments you have or about commenting on your own (ex: lyke omg this picture is so funny i was looking at Frank while doing a shot and I'm so suprised in it...or i look so bad in this pic (then why the fuck did you put it online?))
It's not about having an iPhone and buying really cool new apps.
It's not about your blackberry and bbm'ing all these people (people that probably don't give a fuck about you)
It's not about how you just downloaded the complete first season of some show and you hooked it up to your plasma and just balling.
It's not about saying some record is really good because that's the thing to do.
It's not about tvo'ing some dvr'ing so you never miss an episode.
It's not about your sweet net flix account.

this shit shouldn't run your life and if it does I feel really fucking bad for you.

Go read a book, a real book not a fucking Tom Clancy novel
Go fucking outside and take a walk in a scenic area.
Go have a social interaction with real friends.
Go sit outside with a cup of coffee on a nice day and just sit and think.
Listen to some music that is meaningful and from the heart and actually has a message, and if Forever the Sickest Kids are that band for you, I feel really bad.
Go do something positive.

there's so much bullshit surrounding all of us and we get so trapped in it, myself included at times. It's so annoying having 840 friends on facebook doesn't mean shit when it comes down to it, because I bet you only talk to the same 4 motherfuckers each day.
Does anyone get the difference between a friend and a FRIEND. That dude you see at the bar and you guys have drinks and get really drunk and talk about the "bitches you fuck" is not a friend, the dude who goes to the city with you cause you have a ticket to pay and who is there for you is a real friend...

I don't care for people who keep needing to bring up how they were the man back in the day, or who needs to constantly promote the idiotness of this whole world.
Leave me the fuck alone, I get more enjoyment out of sitting in my room with a book and a cup of coffee then hanging out with a motherfucker who won't shut the fuck up about bullshit.

Everything I do is a contradiction to myself, but everything you do is just full of shit.

What was your big accomplishment? Getting the high score in a fucking playstation game? Fuck off realize you are full of shit...

Just throwing this one out there too...
If you get drunk and then think you are a tough guy you are a fool. Beer muscles isn't shit. You're a fuck up the whole day but once alcohol touches your lips and you get drunk, you're the man. Fuck that. Motherfucker I stand up for myself sober or drunk, I'll lay you out when I just wake up in the morning, I don't need alcohol to be a tough guy. ( i need alcohol to take away my suicidal edge)

Think about how much bullshit and bullshit people surround you, get the fuck out of my life. You were never the man and you never will be, go get a sick job from your dad, so you can drive your sick jag, so you can pick up mad bitches, so you can talk to your boys about how this slut just wanted your dick, so then you can get some new video games, so then you can beat them, so then you can pump the new 50cent cd because you're down...

fuck off, eat shit, lose my phone number.

favorite movie ever...fast forward to 1:10

Example # 3...

A girl who had a wristband on (meaning she is over 21 and should not be a fool anymore), walked up to me, she points at my arm and goes "Do you like Bayside? I love them"... now she pointed at my arm because I have their band logo on me, meaning she knows it is a Bayside tattoo, now why would you ask me if I like them... no in all honesty I hate them... I hate them so much that I spent money on getting them forever tattooed on my arm in a very visible location... I also have an AFI tattoo, an Alkaline Trio tattoo, and a Bouncing Souls tattoo because I hate them so much...


(i'm really not a huge asshole...)

(actually I am...but I'll try to be nice to you...)

(not really, but we can pretend...)

i like when people try to talk to me...

Example #1...
Some girl just walked up to me and said "I have that computer"..I replied, "So do I".. (her not realizing I am stating a clear obvious fact just trying to end the conversation proceeds).. "I really like it a lot, it's so fast and looks so cute", she then says... I go "Yea I bought mine when it came out which was 3 months ago so it is still fast to"..(she still won't end the conversation) "I love how it comes with a webcam so I can video chat with people", I reply "Yea they hit the nail on the head" (I realize that this conversation was not going to end easily so I take out my phone and pretend it is vibrating, she walks away)

Example #2...
"I really like that shirt"... I say, "It's only $15"...."I don't have any money just wanted to let you know it was cute"....


Now in response to number 1... I really don't care what type of computer you have.. I could also care less that you want to talk to me... unless you are buying me a drink or serving me a drink.. I do not want to talk to you..I especially don't want to talk to you about your computer...I have an 80GB iPod, can we discuss that too?

Now in response to number 2... If you don't have money, I don't care what you think..nor will I be nice to you...shut the fuck up and take the greyhound bus back home so you can go flip burgers in the morning.. (you mom should have had an abortion)

this is lame

somehow bayside and valencia summed up the world for me, this is lame i know..but fuck you.

"I hate myself,
more than I ever let on.
I'm burned out at 22.
I lived too fast and I loved too much and I'll die too young,
but I chose this cup that I drank from.
Knew what I was getting into.
But I couldn't let out what I had to keep in.
I'm ashamed of myself and unspeakable sins,"


"I get a little down on my self.
But when you came around
The world felt new
I opened up my eyes to the light
And I saw deep inside of a love that was true"

Did you ever realize...

Did you ever realize what you want to do with your life?
Did you ever realize that a lot of people you know are full of shit?
Did you ever realize the people that matter to you and you can trust?
Did you ever realize you might live in the wrong Country?
Did you ever realize that things could be alot different depending on the mileage?
Did you ever realize that you fucked up love by things out of your control?
Did you ever realize that there are a few things that make you happy and half of them are happening but the rest is a long way away?
Did you ever realize that if you had done that ONE thing different that a completely different avalanche would have happened?
Did you ever realize that the "true believers" even if they are broke are better off then the fake ones who are doing a 9-5, 401k, with benefits?
Did you ever realize that random issues have destroyed your life and held you back?
Did you ever realize that the one decision you will make will change a lot?
Did you ever realize that you are lost with someone so far away?
Did you ever realize that you are just wasting away before you die?

i hope you rofl or at least lol, or maybe even lmao

I'm sitting at this wild venue in Salt Lake City, Utah. It reminds of a place that the Lost Boys would live in from Peter Pan. The layout of this land goes, the venue which is reminiscent of an old little punk venue. Then you go outside to a grassy knoll where there is a snack shack, serving such classic refreshments such as Coke, Diet Coke, Water, Hot Chocolate, and Instant Coffee. Adjacent to the snack shack there is a fire pit, where you can sit there by the fire. If you are bored by the fire you can walk across the knoll and walk into the merch room which is basically a small rectangle building that has no heat, a broken window, and two doors that won't close...but because it is so nippy in here they have supplied us lads with a plug in heater, granted the heater is roughly the size of a shoe box and barely heats, but hey it's the thought that counts.

Last night we were supposed to do this house party show since it was an off day, they were going to supply beer, food, and lodging. When we got there Josh and I ran errands. Since I am not allowed to drive the van, I had to have my driver Josh drive around to exchange all them Australian dollars, get oil change, open band bank account, and basically be badass. After that we had a lovely lunch consisting of potatoes and rolls, and some beef for those carnivores. Set up the gear and cops came during the "sound check" so playing music was not allowed but instead we had lovely beer pong matches, Mark Fray Fan Club (Josh and I), went 4-1, the last game we also lost but we will not count that due to the fact Shaq was basically playing against us..after a lot of drinks I had a long phone call about life, and things are insane, and what is going to be taking place in my life is insane. Being highly intoxicated after the phone call I thought about it all and lost my mind and went to town on myself, and now have some battle wounds, but whatever it heals and shit happens. I'm not upset today, just one of those random freak outs..

Now currently there is a girl crying in here because during Fight Fair's set they covered New Found Glory, and some girl sang in the mic. She did not really have to vocal power of Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend got mad and dumped her because she was a fool. She lives with him and now has to go get her dog, I felt bad about asking her if she was interested in buying something so instead I played a little Doctor Phil and then pretended my phone would ring so she would shut up....Life is grand, life is interesting...

Oh and we are making smores on merch lights...

About a month and a half ago I was in Gillette, New Jersey..
A week ago I was in Australia..
Right now I am in Tacoma, Washington..

Tour overall has been pretty good, some smaller shows here or there, but defiantly turning out new fans which is key...

I got to touch a kangaroo and koala, that's badass.

There's been these couple ideas in rotating in my head that I am going to act upon, no real details need to be said but it will involve changes of scenery and way of my life...who knows let's take a risk...

oh and I am going to write a record by a group called Happiness Brigade, and it will offend you.

a picture is worth a thousand words...

We have not had a quiet day since we arrived in Australia. You can't allow yourself one either, you are in Australia for two weeks, staying in a hotel room one night watching television is a waste. So even though I am currently very burned out and would just love to sleep for a day and not go anywhere it's not going to happen, I will go out. Last night was free open bar, and after a couple of drinks I couldn't do it anymore and left. The night before I was falling asleep at the bar. Today is our off day so after our flight I plan on sleeping until it is time to drink. And to make matters worse I like fucked up my back a couple days ago and it is fucking killing me and interrupting solid sleep, but I'm not complaining this is a great trip. I mean, I can walk to the hotel lobby and the dudes in New Found Glory recognize me and talk to me. How fucking insane is that. Or I can talk to Anthony Raneri really fast, even though I'm scurrrred...
We pet koalas and kangaroos a couple days ago, it was sick.
I need to shower.

Australia

I don't know how many days we've been in Australia, or what time it is, or what day it is, but I'm enjoying myself here. The shows have been really great and for the most part all the people have been pretty great. Soundwave is basically like a Warped Tour, what makes it awesome is that all the bands fly together, we all take shuttles together, and it's sick. I've met some great people on this tour and had some rediculous nights. But alas my computer is dying because Australian power is different so I will have to detail later.

Today is our day off, tomorrow is our flight to Australia. I'm being serious, it hasn't fully set in yet, but when I am taking off my shoes at the airport so I can prove that I am not a terrorist it will probably have set in. The festival shows are going to be sick and the off shows with New Found Glory will be fucking retarded (retarded means ridiculous). The flight has complimentary drinks which I will be indulging in, though not to many because a hangover on an airplane will be pretty horrendous. Our van rides in Australia are with New Found Glory, damn that's sick.

Today we have just sat around which is pretty nice, I'm currently downloading two seasons of the Drew Carey Show and a season of the Wonder Years, hopefully they finish in time so I can watch some on the flight. I've got to ration my power well since it is a 14 hour flight. Hopefully we will do something fun tonight though sitting around chilling works well too.

I love it when you see a dude and you know he just wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror and is like "Yea I'm the shit, bitches love me, I'm the man"

See I don't think that I am the man, I know I am.

this is a percentage.

The breakdown of the type of people who lean on cd's or tshirts or posters that are at the merch table...

25% - fat people (mainly girls)
25% - dudes who look like they came from a Hot Topic shoot
15% - bro's with tribal tattoos, wearing shorts, somewhat high socks or really low socks with adidas shoes and at least one diamond earing
10% - the random person who came with their friend, who then ditched them and now are lonely and feel the need to rest their hand on a crisp cd case
10% - the guy/girl who you know their significant other is cheating on them
10% - the trio of 13 year old girls who got dropped off at the show and really need to be on AIM on their sidekick 3 at the show
5% - the kid who gets picked on all the time, and you feel bad for him but you know if he was in your highschool class you would make fun of him too.

I'm wearing an Obama tshirt and someone just asked me if I'm a supporter....

Obviously I am why the fuck else would I own this shirt and currently be wearing it.

fools.

Who the fuck is Sing It Loud? I never heard of them and I refuse to listen. They got in a car accident today and I would never wish an injury on anybody but judging from the company they keep, ummm.

Do people really get homesick after being gone for a while? I never do, maybe cause I am with good friends when I am gone or because I don't have ties at home. Sure I love New Jersey and love hanging with kids who aren't in a van with me, but when I'm gone it's whatever, I don't miss most of it. The only thing I don't like is constantly having to sift through things in my suitcase trying to find clean clothes and then barely being able to zip the luggage back up, but hey that's a small price to pay for enjoyment.

I think this tour so far has been very successful for the band. We are constantly selling cd's to kids who haven't heard of the band before. Hopefully things can work out correctly and more good tours can folllow.

We are leaving for Australia in a couple of days and as long as the plane takes off and lands successfully then it should be a good time. I want to pet a koala. That is my goal, my other goal is to have a child in Australia maybe I can successfully achieve both. Hey another continent means no child support, right?

How come everyone is obsessed with Glamour Kills, sure there are some neato designs, but come on wearing it everyday is fucking lame. Let's play dress up once in a while and try to look like a man with self respect.

My book is going to be a best seller, be prepared.

tour video update #2

I really fucking hate it when girls have a birthday and they wear those retarded crowns everywhere that says "birthday girl" or "buy me a drink" or some retarded thing like that. I will not wish you a happy birthday or even acknowledge you, in fact I will go out of my way to make your birthday miserable....


oh and how come 75% of the time it's some insanely obese woman wearing it.

They have this 25 facts about yourself on facebook, and I keep getting tagged in it, I got annoyed and wrote one but am to lazy to tag people so this is what would be on facebook...

"I'm writing this because I'm bored on tour..you wrote this because you have no life"

1. I collect Pez religiously.
2. I have anxiety, ADD, and level two bipolarism (I don't take med's I deal with it myself)
3. I've had more sex with girls then you have friends
4. A perfect day is margarita pizza, vodka tonics, and best friends.
5. A lot of people call me a dick, I wouldn't disagree but if I care about you I'll go to the end of the earth for you.
6. I want to get my knuckles tattooed to say "Gods Gift"
7. I think most of humanity is disgusting.
8. I can size up a person super fast, and only a select few of my friends I let know me.
9. I don't like being home and try and get tours as fast as possible.
10. Doing tours and seeing the world has been the most rewarding thing in my life.
11. If I don't do something that I'm proud of by the time I'm 25, I'm going to commit suicide.
12. I LOVE Care Bears, and have many collectibles.
13. I want to do band again but don't know with who or what style.
14. I'm scared of exorcism movies.
15. Davey Havok is my hero.
16. I think I fell in love once but was to fucked up in the head to do anything.
17. In the past 2 weeks I received two tickets for non related traffic offenses (NYC & South Carolina)
18. I had a clothing company called Jersey Glamour way back when, but can't bring it back because of Glamour Kills.
19. I say a lot of offensive jokes but all are just jaykays and I don't care if you don't like them.
20. I want to adopt a black boy.
21. I hate myself.
22. I have a wine glass that Billie Joe Armstrong (singer of green day) drank out of, and it sits on my mantle
23. I know how to play the fool and do it way to much because then you can see the foolishness of people.
24. The only books I read are autobiographies, involving drugs, degeneracy, alcohol, addictions, sex, self hatred etc.
25. I've been in fights before and hold my own, if you do some piece of shit to me or my friends I take care of things, violence of no violence ;)

Video Update #1

Tour has been running along fairly smoothly which is good, it's just like a well oiled treadmill, jump on and keep going. Everyone gets along good and we are having some successful shows take place. We decided we are keeping hotel to a minimal because it's more fun that way, crashing with friends & meeting new people along the way it's awesome. I met the dudes in House of Fools when we stayed at their place, their new demos are sick and they are completely rad dudes.
Another highlight was after Jason ate a nice big sandwich he decided he was still hungry, on the counter was this...

Chicken Poppers what an interesting idea, it must be like pork rinds but chicken style into delicious pop-able balls. Jason being the big carnivore popped two in his mouth and while chewing turned the bag around to read the calorie count. As he notices that there is none he then notices the description. "A Tasty healthy treat for your furry friends".. Yes, Jason ate dog treats. Poor man...

We had these amazing shots called PB&J shots, it tasted exactly like Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Josh, Shane (from Valencia), and I both got $252.50 tickets in South Carolina, I think I might ignore that, having a warrant out in South Carolina is not really the end all end all...

We are in Tom's parents house right now, and I must say it is very comfortable house and I love the color of the walls.

virginia

Virginia sucks, the highlight is cheap drinks. If you live in Virginia I'm sorry.
Tomorrow is going to be the best day ever. My college roomate, "The Baron", moved to North Carolina with his boo and he is i coming to the show tomorrow, and excited is an understatement. He is one of my best friends and a stand up guy and I can't wait to see him.

I briefly for 5 minutes missed being home a little, but just because I miss waking up in the morning in my room and seeing the comforts of AFI and Green Day on my wall and my red rug which makes me happy.

This tour is a really good thing, I think it is going to be a big help in getting Houston Calls back to where they belong...

Vodka Tonic calling me!

Tour

Three days into tour and it's defiantly a great tour so far. The first two shows have been sick, including last night's sold out show, tonight looks like it will be sold out, only one band has played and it is already super packed. Houston Calls sounds real good too, Dan and Jay are great replacements and great dudes. Super easy dudes to get along with and seem like great dudes in general. We've been doing well with money to which is a big plus. If the tour continues this way, which all signs point to it will, this will be a really great time.
It's an early show today so that means cocktails at 3:30. 1 Pabst and 1 Vodka Tonic = $7.00 which isn't that bad, hopefully drink tickets come soon, or I will be indulging in the 24 bottle case of miller lite I bought from Jarrett for 10 dollars.

One of the best highlights so far was when we left we hit the toll booth. For our lovely 15 passenger van and trailer the toll was $16.00, Tom being the dazzling individual that he is talked the pseudo Michael Strahan (google him) into charging us $6.00

This is going to be an excellent two months, I might get my knuckles tattooed. Fuck it.

Time to drink my lovely mostly vodka and minimal tonic and eat a slice of pizza!

After seeing Valencia soundcheck, I'm stoked for this tour.

sitting at the venue

First day of tour, we are in Farmingdale NY. It's to close to NJ to really feel like tour I can't wait to get farther away. The tour is about 2 months long, which is a long time but it should be great. Ideally I would like to be gone 10 months out of the year, I'm trying to figure everything out now.
I can't wait to see faces I haven't seen in a while, crossing my fingers that Keith comes out in Maryland.

I've had the worst headache for the past 3 days, it's like a permanent hangover. I want a nice cold Diet Green Tea Ice Tea and a slice of pizza pie. Help.

I used to think you were really hot, then I realized you're just a mature version of trailer trash.

Things I need to find by Wednesday:
Passport
Backpack containing digital camera and video camera
iPod

How the fuck did I lose those things...

When I do laundry and take it out of the washer machine, I smell every other 3rd piece of clothing I pull out. Is that weird, I do it to every 3rd piece not like just once, each time.

oh hey

100th post, take a gander at heaven

most expensive pee ever

I had to go pee and the bar was to crowded, I went to alley in NYC, Nick B was my lookout..

$153.09 later I realized Nick B is a horrible lookout.

Every so often I lose sight of who I am and what's important to me. I can see it in some photos, like what the fuck was I doing. I know the instances where I lose my mind and go crazy and once I regain it, the world is mine. I feel pretty good right now, I've rediscovered myself and what is important. Thanks friends.

my 4:35am drunk annoyed rant

So my night started out fairly well, drinks in Gillette at the lovely Bartons Bar establishment, had a drink or two there while waiting for Brent and John to get out of band practice. When it was time to leave I drove to Morristown where it was time to indulge in the amazingness of dollar beers. Had a good amount of cost effective drinks there with Brent and his beau while waiting for John to arrive. John let us know that he was showering so he would show up in a bit, so we went to another bar to have some more drinks. In true John fashion he showed up at the bar at 1:35ish while last call was happening. So we did some shots fast to make everything all good. Brent's beau said she had some vodka and gin so we should go and drink there. We left and stopped to purchase some diet colas to mix with the speak-easy's that we were about to have. When we went there John's fun time arrived, and that's when my rant will begin...
We follow her back to her friends place where they are all drinking so it would be good for everyone to have cocktails and a gay old time. Upon arriving there, on the television there is Mtv's celebratory concert for Obama on. Two of the really "badass", "gnarly", "too cool for school" dudes decided to start going into rants about "Let's all cheer for a nigger", "Yea all these white people in the audience are excited for the nigger", blah blah...Ok fine I hate George Bush and I will call him a redneck, so I guess in some fucked up way I will excuse someone for calling Obama a "nigger". You know what you are an idiot for using that word to describe the guy, but everyone uses bad words/stereotype words to describe the person they hate. Fine it is idiotic and foolish but I will ignore it. Granted you are setting everyone back years and years by needing to say nigger to describe a black person you hate, but so be it fine.
Their next step is to stand up and start saluting the t.v. in a sieg heil, hail hitler hand gesture...you know the one where you hit your chest and then stick your hand straight out. I'm sorry how is he Hitler? Are you that ignorant and that much of a piece of shit that you are hailing your president as Hitler. He hasn't even been in office for a full day, and hasn't fucked anything up and you are already comparing him to one of if not the worst dictators in all of history, and can I ask why.. it is because he is black. Straight up, you can be republican but you will not be hailing him as Hitler unless you are a racist piece of shit. YOU ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD...
I still sat there slowly getting more and more mad, then comments started coming out, which are just ridiculous and I have no need to repeat. After enough of these I start getting way to annoyed and the alcohol making me have a lose tongue made me start to voice back a little bit. The one man, lets call him Larry the Cable Guy, decided that I am ignorant. After me telling him how the economy is a pendulum and will go from amazingness to recession and then back again, which is true., you will never have an amazing economy forever it will always go high and then go down and back up again...he decided to explain to me that I am a moron and do not know what I am talking about. Now hold on for a second, I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I have been to a great High school and a good College, I got scholarships to every college I applied to, I was a slacker but somehow always managed good grades. How the fuck am I a moron, I'm saying a fact based on valid knowledge but it is completely wrong. Maybe if I hadn't gone to school (like him), lived in my parents basement (like him), work at Burger King (like him), I would be much more knowledgeable. Whatever if it's one thing I know for sure is that you can't argue with ignorance, they will never be wrong and you will never be right. So kudos to you Larry the Cable Guy, you did it, your smarts from making Whopper Jr's and making sure the Chicken Tenders are hot made you understand our government, politics, economics, and the world in large....
Now they are having artists perform songs in celebration of having a complete breath of fresh air in the office, and guess who is playing Fall Out Boy. Now comes the yelling at the t.v. the death threats and all that shit from these really awesome dudes. This band is full of faggots, they are sell outs, they don't know what they are talking about etc. After the hailing of "Hitler Obama" I am mad but now the things they are saying about music is starting to really get me. Fall Out Boy are sellouts? They are? I didn't know that. Why are they sell outs cause they are one of the biggest bands on the planet right now, I never heard them say anything anywhere saying that they wanted to stay a really small band the rest of their lives and travel in a van. Are they sellouts because they wrote an album you didn't like. Sorry that Patrick Stump, their singer, has a great voice and can sing in variation and now they have budget where they can take the time and write those songs. Hey guess what, Fall Out Boy till play VFW halls between their albums, oh wait you mean they sell out Madison Square Garden but still play venues that hold 150 kids because they like that...well they are fucking huge sell outs how dare they. Oh did you know that before their most recent album came out they were playing venues about the size of Irving Plaza and the tickets were $10 each, and that was because they wanted to play that sized venues and wanted to keep tickets cheap. Well fuck them that is selling out. Why are you so upset, cause your shitty local band is still struggling to get basement shows. People make are for themselves, but alot of them want others to enjoy it to, I'm sorry that Fall Out Boy took the chance to have people enjoy it and succeed. Dude Green Day was so much better before Dookie came out. Shut the fuck up, most of the people who say that didn't even like Green Day until they heard of them through Dookie. Guess what one of the definitions of sell out is, it is a person who compromises his or her personal values, integrity, talent, or the like, for money or personal advancement. Did you know Pete Wentz (your fave person of Fall out boy), was big into hardcore/punk and did you know they had a thing in Chicago like the NJ Scene where he would discuss those types of bands, and did you realize that when he was big he made a label and signed a band called Lifetime to that label. If you don't know who Lifetime is and dare to give me that more punk than thou attitutde, fuck off and look up who they are. So this guy who loved hardcore/punk bands gets big and signs a legendary band of that scene, well if that isn't the definition of a sell out I don't know what is...

Oh hey guess what this punk band called The Clash put out their first album in England on a label called CBS, and in America it was released by a label called Epic...Great punk band right? Releasing an album on a major. Guess they are sell outs too.
You white trash ignorant fool, you people are what is wrong with society. Keep holding your breath for a new Toby Keith record, I heard Walmart needs some new door greeters, you can work there and then get a discount on those Dickies, gotta be punk rock right?

I'm in a funk, a bad funk. There's these storm clouds over my head that just won't clear up. Alot of things are changing, for better or for worse we shall see. I have all these ideas in my head but am to scared to cash in on them. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, but my mind is wasting me away. I have more friends then I could ever ask for, but it's getting hard to remain peppy. Some of my friends recently have taken big hits in their lives, it's difficult to cheer them up because words only go so far. I know they will get stronger through all of this, they are good people and things will work out for them. I am not a good person though, things will not work out. I've got a book of memories but memories can only make me sane for so long. What am I doing? What's happening. I'm staying true to what I believe in, but I think I am believing in all the wrong things.

is this bitch serious?

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=9829403

bad idea...

I can't stand this.
I love you.

2008 TOP LISTS

It's January 1, 2009, so this is what made 2008 badass (in my humble(I'm still better than you)opinion)..

Music

1. Butch Walker - Sycamore Meadows
2. Alkaline Trio - Agony and Irony
3. The Banner - Fraility
4. The Living End - White Noise
5. Bayside - Shudder
6. Secret Lives of the Freemasons - Weekend Warriors
7.Atmoshphere - When Life Gives You Lemons You Paint That Shit Gold
8. Underoath - Lost in the Sound of Separation
9. Houston Calls - The End of An Error ;)
10. Coldplay - Viva La Vida
11. The Gaslight Anthem - The 59 Sound
12. Emmure - The Respect Issue
13. Bring Me the Horizon - Suicide Season
14. A Static Lullaby - Rattlesnake
15. Randy Newman - Harps and Angels
16. Smoking Popes - Stay Down
17. Flogging Molly - Float
18. Tom Gabel - Heart Burns

Albums for 2009 that will make my life:
1. AFI
2. Third Eye Blind
3. Green Day
4. Trophy Scars
5. Most Precious Blood
6. Saves the Day
7. Thursday.
8. Every Time I Die
9. Bruce Springsteen
10.Bouncing Souls (one song a month for a year)

Movies:
1. The Dark Knight
2. Cloverfield
3. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
4. Pineapple Express.
5. Indiana Jones (it was bad but indiana jones is just to cool
6. Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanimo Bay
7. Role Models
8. i forget other movies.

Television Shows
1. Dexter
2. The Office
3. True Blood
4. Family Guy
5. The Simpsons

Books
1. A Wolf at the Table - Augusten Burroughs
2. I am not myself these days - Josh Kilmer-purcell
3. A Man Without a Country - Kurt Vonnegut
4. The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud - Ben Sherwood
5. Slash - Slash

Top Things from 2008
1. On stage for The Bouncing Souls at Bamboozle
2. Graduating College
3. On stage for Thrice
4. In n Out
5. The UK, cheese and onion sandwiches
6. Josh, Tom, Jose, Jarrett, and Okie
7. Having sex while Eric was trying to with the other girl in next bed
8. Ruining Your Life
9. Tiger Woods on Gamecube
10. Having Josh tell me that I can substitute meat for beans at Taco Bell